Tony: Tonight's the night, Sid. You finally pop the cherry, you finally get the VIP tour of Netherland, you finally...
Sid: Fuck off. Don't make fun of me.

Michelle: Cassie's great in the sack... as long as she's not hungry.
Sid: Who says?
Tony and Michelle: Everyone.

Tony: I say this world extends way beyond this little field of dreams we're dancing in, and I wanna see that world.
Chris: What the fuck's he on about?
Jal: He's quoting, Chris. It's a literary reference.
Chris: What do you mean, like Shakespeare and shit?
Jal: Dawson's Creek.

Tony: How's the treatment going, Cassie?
Cassie: Oh, it's cool. I wear a white dress and now I can eat yogurt, cup-a-soup, and hazelnuts now. I'm not sick if they let me play with the cats. Yeah, it's like... hazy days, y'know?
Tony: Well, that's encouraging...

Anwar: I'm praying to my God here, Cass.
Cassie: Oh... wow... is he listening?
Anwar: I hope not, otherwise he'll know about all those pills I necked last night.
Cassie: Think quietly.

Tony: You stink.
Sid: I didn't have time.
Tony: Time? I've been home, showered, done my Chi, had a wank, subtly undermined my dad, put new clothes on and here I am, with my English coursework.
Sid: English coursework? Oh fuck...

Michelle: You, girl, need to learn a few tricks.
Jal: Like what?
Michelle: Like looking good, it's what I do.
Jal: It isn't all you do.
Michelle: Yeah, it is. You play clarinet and I look shaggable.

Jal: For Christ's sake! Stop Looking at them!
Maxxie: Oh, sorry Jal. Well, they're out aren't they?
Jal: You're gay!
Maxxie: Yeah...I mean, yeah. Of course.
Jal: You're supposed to respect womens' bodies, Muslim boy!
Anwar: I'm respecting. Believe me, I'm respecting.

Mark Jenkins: Oh yes, my boy, we're going to this my way, you hear me!? The gravy train has terminated, terminated, you little fucker. Did Tony fail this?
Sid: No.
Mark: Of course! And why, why didn't he fail it?
Sid: He doesn't take History.
Mark: Right! You are going to get something, something right, if it's the last thing I ever do! What's your next class?
Sid: Drama.
Mark: Right. Drama. Home. Coursework. Fucking perfection. Or else.
Sid: Why are you talking in very short sentences?
Mark: Emphasis! Drama! Fuck off.

Tony: Change. It's a wonderful thing. Look, you know how subatomic particles don't obey physical laws? They act according to chance, chaos, coincidence. They run into each other in the middle of the universe somewhere and bang! Energy! We're the same as that. That's the great thing about the universe: unpredictable. That's why it's so much fun.

Chris: Everything you could ever want from an evening. Songs, choir girls, colourful costumes, fellatio... rabbits.
Maxxie: Rabbits?
Chris: Don't ask.

Maxxie: Anwar's decided to become a Muslim.
Sid: What, like more Muslim than he was already?
Maxxie: A bit more Muslim, yeah.
Tony: What happened?
Maxxie: Well, he's just like, switched about me being, you know-
Tony: Blond?
Maxxie: No.
Tony: Short?
Maxxie: Gay!

Angie: I don't have sex with my 17 year-old students!
Chris: How old are they normally?

Jal: 'Shell what happened?
Michelle: Never mind!
Jal: Never mind? Did he screw someone again?
Michelle: Again?
Jal: I tried to tell you 'Shell.
Michelle: About who?
Jal: But you never wanna hear it.
Michelle: About who, for Christ's sakes!?
Jal: Jenny, Mags, Kelly, White Justine, Black Justine, Bucksy from the Geography trip, the posh girl from the choir...

Maxxie: I got off with Tony on the Russia trip. I only did it 'cause I fell out with Anwar when he said he hated gays. So I got upset and Tony said he'd give me head to cheer me up, you know? And it didn't mean anything but I lost my head, then he gave me head, then we got deported from Russia and I'm really, really sorry for being a slut, okay?

Effy: Sometimes I think I was born backwards, you know came out my mum the wrong way. I hear words go past me backwards. The people I should love I hate, and the people I hate...

Tony: Effy's different, I sort of own her, 'cause she's my sister. But with you... I just really wanted you there. Then you were, in the car.
Sid: Thing is, Tony, you sort of own me too. Mostly in a good way.

Maxxie: I'm gay, Mr. Kharrel. I always have been.
Mr. Kharrel: It's a fucking stupid messed up world. I've got my God. He speaks to me everyday. Somethings I just can't work out so I leave them be, okay? Even if I think they're wrong, because I know someday he'll make me understand. I've got that trust. It's called belief. I'm a lucky man.

Anwar: You think either of them has actually seen Star Wars? You reckon they know Luke's her brother?

College principal: (to Chris) I'll cut to the chase. We've no coursework from you and the exams are about to start. You're a shit student and your inevitably shit results will affect my averages and I'll be swimming in a river of shit and I didn't pack a snorkel.

Chris: So I told him he was a pitty boss and a pastard, and he could pucking shove his pucked polo up his packside! Stupid prick!
Josie: I think one slipped through there Chris...
Chris: Stupid punt.

Cassie: Chris and Jal... Jal and Chris... more couples! More and more couples! Have you ever been in love?
Jal: I don't think so...
Cassie: Do you want me to describe it to you?
Jal: Okay...
Cassie: Do you remember when you rode with me in the ambulance after I tried to kill myself?
Jal: Of course.
Cassie: That's what love feels like.

Cassie: Do you know what hurts most about a broken heart? Not being able to remember how you felt before... try and keep that feeling, because... if it goes... you'll never get it back.
Chris: What happens then?
Cassie: You lay waste to the world... and everything in it.

Pandora: Hi mum. No, I'm fine, I'm super duper fine! Yep, I'm with my friends and they're like so fucking amazing. Well, I guess I'm looking at Tony's cock, but he can't tell. See ya!

Cassie: I'll love you forever, Sid.
Sid: You will?
Cassie: Yes. That's the problem.

Michelle: I'm not saying forget about him, because you can't and you shouldn't. He was special. But I, I just think... Fuck it.
Jal: What?
Michelle: Like Chris. He said fuck it, I'll do it my way. And the people that love me will understand why I'm doing it because they love me.

Jal: I've been thinking about what Chris would have wanted me to say today. The advice he'd give me, which'd be something like, "Know what, babe? Fuck it. These guys know all about me. Tell them about someone else." So I thought I'd tell you about a hero of Chris's: a man called Captain Joe Kittinger. In 1960, climbing into a foil balloon, Captain Joe ascended 32 kilometres into the stratosphere. And then, armed only with a parachute, he jumped out. He fell for four minutes and thirty-six seconds, reaching seven hundred and forty miles per hour before opening his parachute five kilometres above the Earth. It had never been done before, and it's never been done since. He did it just because he could. And that's why Chris loved him; because the thing about Chris was, he said yes. He said yes to everything. He loved everyone. And he was the bravest boy- man -I knew. And that was- he flung himself out of a foil balloon every day. Because he could. Because he was. And that's why-and that's why we loved him.

Sid: Where are we going, Tone?
Tony: Oh... yeah.
Sid: What's this?
Tony: Open it.
Sid: New York? Why would I want to go to New York?
Tony: She's thin. She's blonde. She says "wow!" a lot.